singletears

NORMAL sesuatu yg abNORMAL dlm hidup aku.. i love to be different.. tapi mungkin perbezaan aku terlalu ketara dgn org lain.. aku x mampu tuk sembunyikan apa yg aku rasa.. bukan mudah untuk senyum masa hati terlalu sedih.. tapi aku yakin.. hari ini terluka.. esok akan sembuh.. aku cuba pelbagai cara untuk betulkan kesilapan aku.. semakin aku jauh dari dia.. semakin terluka.. mungkin kerana dia terlalu sempurna.. dia impian yg aku pernah simpan.. mungkin dia satu pengajaran yg tuhan ciptakan untuk aku.. aku da harungi mcm2 masalah dari dulu.. tapi belum pernah aku rasa hidup kosong mcm ni.. belum pernah aku rasa terlalu kehilangan.. belum pernah aku rasa terluka seteruk ini.. mungkin kerana aku terlalu.. dan terus terlalu.. hampir setiap saat dlm hidup aku.. dia pasti wujud.. dia pasti ada.. sedangkan aku xpernah wujud dlm hidup dia walaupun sesaat.. selagi aku turus kt sini.. aku xkn mampu lupakan dia.. aku x mampu ubah apa2 pun.. impian hanya mimpi.. mas...

post kali nih mmg sedikit personal.. harap xder pihak yg terasa.. ni hanya luahan sebagai perkongsian.. siyes mmg best bile org puji kita.. bergaya.. smart.. handsome.. tp x semua pujian tu ikhlas.. kebanyakan nya ada udang disebalik batu.. i love to be in trend.. stylo.. but wat eva i wear or do, i do it becoz i love to.. not to satisfied any person or group.. tp kdg2 agak lemas bile org dtg dekat.. pegang sini sana.. mula ckp ngarut2.. mintak ngarut2.. mcm kite nih boleh beli sama harga dgn baju.. ada yg kawan hanya sbb style aku.. sebab rupa aku.. walaupun aku x ensem mn.. tp pelik biler rmi yg minat.. (bukan puji diri sendiri) sedih gak biler terfikir yg xder ke yg tol2 akn terima kita seadanya.. betul2 akn hargai kita.. bukan untuk sesuatu yg kita pon x mmpu beri.. tapi dunia ttp mcm tuh.. kdg2 rasa mcm mls nak mndi.. xmo kuar rumah.. tp xtawu nak wat per.. so i just keep on pretending im ok.. wear wat eva i want.. do wat eva i have to do.. b...

they said... a new dawn is a new day.. a new start.. n I miss my new start with cloud filling the entire sky.. telling the universe how close it will hug the earth.. n now I can only see hays..   there were time that I hold my self tidily n let my mind think that.. I need nobody to love.. to be in love.. to fall for love.. get hurt n letting go..   but none will satisfied me.. I believe that I was born to love.. love completed my life.. here n I hope hereafter..   I need them.. no matter how bad they treated me.. no matter how bad they make me cried.. I still hope I can hug them n tell them.. "i'm here n I will always love u"   to my dear lil SIS..ma* there were time when we make mistake.. we said wrong words.. we do wrong action.. n fall for wrong things.. but non will ends my cares n love for u..   to my HEART n SOUL..fie sometime I think we are not mean for each other.. coz I cant gave u ...

saat aku rasa dendam itu manis.. meratap dan merayu itu sesuatu yg indah.. memohon kemaafan itu bahagia.. hati mula memberat.. mungkin disebalik BENCI yg aku cipta.. masih lg ada SAYANG yg belum terhapus.. demi Allah aku sayang dia.. mungkin aku pernah sayang dia.. tapi bukan sekarang.. bukan selepas dia ragut semua kegembiraan yg dia sendiri tawarkan.. bukan selepas dia putuskan kenangan yang ada.. bukan selepas aku buat keputusan untuk akhiri hidup aku.. dan bukan selepas aku sedar aku hanya NOKTAH dlm hidup dia.. aku pandang pengakhiran ini dari sudut yg lain.. terima kasih untuk pernah ada.. terima kasih untuk beri saya bahagia.. terima kasih untuk buat saya lebih kuat.. dan terima kasih untuk lebih kuat dan meninggalkn saya.. saya cuma mintak satu jer.. tolong jgn kembali.. tolong jgn ulang semula.. tolong jgn muncul depan saya walaupun sesaat.. dan tolong jgn minta maaf lagi.. maaf itu mungkin hanya dimulut tapi dihati hanya Allah yg tahu.. saya x pern...

everything will stop when it comes to the end.. n I believe.. we are now done.. if this will be the last moment I was given by lord to hold ur hand.. i'll make sure not even a second will be wasted.. people call it revenge.. some said payback.. but to me it mean "promises" I knew after this.. there will be no more space between us.. it doesn't mean we r closed enough.. but by heart n soul will be completely separated.. I didn't do this becoz I hate u.. but I do becoz I want u to stop.. n I want my simple life back.. life where there will be me n only me.. thanks for the joy u once gave.. thanks for the smile u once shared.. thanks for the heart once I owned.. "it was for our own good" ? which our? u knew this will only pay u a pleasure.. n none will drop by me.. I neva been hurt this much.. I stand my ground with another mistake.. mistaken of ur own identity.. ur goodness.. n now im free.. if a bird loose its wings.. it...

I smile not becoz I love too.. but I need to.. days seem harder for me.. but tearing it will do no good at all.. so I've started to understand life the other way around.. "smile even if its hurt u much" mom said forgive.. others said move on.. n he said let go.. none of it was in my dictionary.. n now I feel empty.. I smile.. I lough.. I cried.. but I don't feel a thing in my heart.. I really hope this suffering will ends soon.. even if Allah said my time is done.. i'll neva regrets even a second I spend with u.. O'Allah.. plz take this burden off me..  

another dull morning.. how much I miss my life.. I miss him.. I miss the whole world.. n non replied.. aku harap sgt dpt kuar dari cnie.. n God is listening.. bukan aku benci.. cume aku xley tanggung lg sumer yg jadi.. I tot when I left my hometown.. leaving everything behind.. I will be ok.. but its not.. org ckp idop aku perfect.. is it? begging others to love me.. jg adik org dgn hrpn dia syg aku.. jg abg org dgn hrpn dia hargai aku.. becoz I have my own who think I will neva be at the same standart as the were.. aku ingt.. klu syg org luar.. the cuts wont be too deep.. but still.. it wont stop bleeding.. I missed my old life.. where I only think bout wat I wanna have.. do thing I love most.. I missed my childhood.. where everything seem normal.. yes I get hurt.. but it becoz I felt off a tree.. not becoz someone broke my heart.. ya Robb.. aku rindu untuk kembali pada mu.. benarkan hati ku pergi.. jemput aku kembali.. aku redha ia terhenti dis...