singletears

saturday  september 10th 2011 5.46 pm.. i was looking at the same sky.. for 23 years.. 10 years back.. when i was 13.. i was hoping for things that i believe will happen.. and till now.. it wasnt.. i do pray.. n it wasnt anyone else fault.. it was mine.. because of hoping for things that for God sake wont eva happen.. i was looking for a little brother.. who i believe will understand me.. listening to what i love most.. somebody who i would love and will love me back.. after years of searching for the right person.. im starting to believe that it wont happen for sure.. after years of tearing my life.. i finally realize.. i just need to love my self more than i used to do.. the hardest thing to understand in life is.. "its not how many people that really love u, but how many people that u really love" it takes u years.. tears.. hurts.. n u finally understand.. what make it harder is.. the truth beh...

kebelakangan nih.. rasa rindu sgt kt kawan2 DBM aku.. macam2 yg jadik dlm 3 tahun lps.. biler exam jer mesti study sesamer.. even ader yg xmo join tp still akn ada zaie.. rasa seronok sgt.. sbb aku x pandai.. then kwn2 yg pndai ader tuk tolong aku.. tnx gak pd sumer kawan2 DBM.. dieorg bnyk tolong aku sampai da abes skrg pon still tolong aku.. harap korg sumer dpt turun konvo nov nih nnt..  x kesah la berapa jauh pon.. korg still the best group yg aku pernah ada.. sampai biler2 pon aku xkn lupa.. nuar and zaha.. kawan plg rapat ngn aku.. nuar da bz ngn idop baru dia.. da abes study..mula kijer.. tapi still ingt gak kt aku.. huhuhu.. tnx nuar.. zaha.. da ilang.. dia r org plg ssh nak difahami setakat nih.. xtawu knp.. tp sentiasa ilang biler ader masalah.. tapi dia selalu ada biler aku susah.. tnx bnyk tolong aku.. 2 org nih sgt penting dlm idop aku.. x kesah r aku marah mcm mn pon.. aku still anggap korg be...

mak kata raya taun nih terasa mcm kosong jer.. mmg pon.. taun nih maklang da xder.. dan taun nih.. adik2 aku xdtg lg beraya.. aku yg lbh terasa kosong tuh.. masa cepat sgt berlalu.. dulu aku selalu rasa marah sgt2.. biler adik x msg.. x kol pon.. x ingt kt aku.. tapi biler di ingtkn semula.. bnyk sebenarnyer yg dieorg da wat tuk aku.. da terlambat nak paham sumer tuh.. masing2 da berubah.. sebelum masanyer sampai.. aku selalu pesan pd diri sendiri.. "satu masa nnt adik2 nih akn ada hidup sendiri.." tp biler masanyer sampai.. susah sgt nak terima sumer tuh..  ni antara kenangan paling bermakna aku.. n ni r pic terakhir kami samer2.. ni acik.. junior yg sgt populer..=) banyak luangkn masa ngn aku.. banyak besabar ngn aku.. all bout him remind me of someone i really cared in past.. aku x suker dgn aper yg org len ckp.. "aku perampas" what eva it is all about,.. aku bkn nak rampas sesaper pon.. ...

ada pekara yg x mungkin kembali.. rindu sangat2 kenangan nih.. tapi bila mengharap masa berpatah ke belakang.. mesti semua kenangan akan berulang.. pahit.. manis.. dan terluka semula.. biarlah ia kekal begini.. mungkin salah aku.. tp yg pasti.. aku da buat yg terbaik.. terima kasih Allah.. untuk semua kenangan terindah.. "sesungguhnya Allah sentiasa mendengar rintihan hamba2 Nya"