Wednesday, December 19, 2012

da seminggu melarikan diri dari kolej..
i think this PAPER things really burden me up..
a lot..
it is simple..
but i make it sound worse..

biler mula jer wat paper nih..
mkn = daging black PAPER..
minum = PAPERmint cool blog
wat kijer = PAPER cut
sumer ada paper..

one thing for sure..
i lost my identity..
i dont have time for any other great things to do..
im only know how to break thing rather then make one..
tamper in highly risk of death..
n worse...i hurt everyone feeling..

one week looking for answer..
n today..
i found it hide in nature..
RAIN*
"SOMETIME we need to understand all,
its not what we always want most..
but what others need"

tomorrow im going back to college..
i wanna start new..
i knew i was not a good writter..
but those good writter doesnt burried with his paper right?

i will do the best..
not for u or others..
but for me..
A is not my aimed..
A GOOD WORK IT IS..
KUIS HERE I COME...=)

Sunday, December 16, 2012

few weeks in new semester..
DULL*
it started wrong...
working up wrong..
n still...wrong!
i dont know wat to do next..

org akn pndang aku..dan ckp..
UNTUNG lah...ada itu..
ada ini..
ada dia..
huuh..do they really know wat i need most?

when HE walk out from my life..
he took away a big junk of me..
part of my heart..
box full of memories..
and he left me with a single DOTS..
a SCAR..that doesnt really appear but hurt more then dead would be..

sometime i wish i could disappear..
but dark wont shade me..
i wish i could shone..
nor light will be that great..
i wish i could stop..
but life still ahead..

i start a day..
with a HOPE of getting cured..
a hope of getting a new place to hide..
a hope of being love n to love..
at the end of the day..
it goes HOPE----less..

the last word u said..
"life goes on"
will filled in the last part in my heart..
i HOPE it grow..
till my life is complete..
and oneday..
if u ever turn back for me..
i HOPE i will neva be that person who i used to be..

i HOPE you will never be here..




Friday, November 23, 2012

ketika manusia berfikir diluar kotak..

diharapkan post kali nih tidak mendatangkn sebarang imej yg salah..

last few days aku ada terbaca satu post in blog n on fb walls..
it saids "SAY NO TO SAME GENDER MARRIAGE"
this is becoz?
"KIDS WILL LOST THEIR RIGHT TO HAVE BOTH PARENT"
inilah yg rmi pertahankan..
is it true?

use other excuses...
but never use this one..
u know y?
perkahwinan yg sah..
anak yg sah..
but still doesnt get enough attention from both parent..
yg dieorg dpt pe?
mama bibik*
or
abang-la...

yg lbh teruk..
perkahwinan x sah..
anak...?
campak dari tingkat 11..
bakar..
buang sungai..
simpan bawah katil..!

atleast those who love same gender know how to appreciated god gifts..
dont only looks at the dark side..
i dont mean to highlight which side is better..
but when u think out of the box..
make sure u think from the right box..

have u guys watched mirror2? yes..
go n find that huge mirror..
tgok aper yg korg sentiasa terlepas..
who are we to judge what is right for others..

sayang x bermaksud cinta..
so grab those lil hands..
hold them tide..
show some love..
ubah diri sendiri sebelum ubah org lain..

"Allah itu maha pengampun......."

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

late nyte movie..

hurmmm...
sekejap jer da 8 november 2012..
x lame lg tmbh la umo aku..

mlm ni x terasa nak tido awal..
bru abes tgok marlyn monroe..
siyes x tepikir nak tgok citer tuh..
but the real fact behind that movie really thrill to to watch..

citer nyer pasal sorg yg terlalu ingin berjaya..
sanggup buat apa jer tuk kejar impian tuh..
sorg lg terlalu mencintai..
dan sanggup buat mcm2 kerja tuk bantu yg td capai impian nya..
but in the end, both lost on their hopes..

i kept on mumbling by my own..
"bodo betol lelaki nih...x nmpk ke kene guna?"
then i realize something..
aku pon pernah buat sumer tuh..
hurmmm...

marlyn akhirnya bunuh diri..
then bob teruskn hidup mcm biasa..
that is what i need to do..
move on..

dah beberapa ketika tanpa fb..
rasa lbh tenang..
bnyk hargai masa untuk sesuatu yg lbh baek..
aku da mula hilang sumer rasa rindu tuh..
skrg aku cuma ada dia..
yg sentiasa ucap "i love u"
n i knew dia mmg syg aku..

tapi..
(terhenti & melihat bulan)
dia jauh..
aku kene capai impian aku..
teruskan hidup nih..
lupakn yg lalu..
berhenti berharap..
tapi lebihkn usaha..

terima kasih..
selamat mlm cinta..

Sunday, October 28, 2012

just another cruel facts!

tonight i learn another facts..
why some ppl like me more..
and why some of them hated me badly..

this is me..
im not the one who stay..left..or wounded ur memory with lies..
plz do not judge me with ur past..
im real..and none of me reflect them..

dia pernah ckp...
"np potong rambut mcm tuh?"
"saya suke tgok awak nyer style"
then this night i finally know why...
--I look just like HIM--
didnt i?

its kindda sad..
knowing that someone like or love u..
just becoz u look like what they had earn years ago..
u believe u step here..
but ur mark had been there..
--im just like a shadow--
nobody will care..

it was damn hard to let go..
yet too dump to stay while knowing that im not the one..
yg dia rindu...syg...or wat eva..
why do i wish to stay..
why do i have to face this..
do i have to move on without...?

i missed u damn much..
i wish this is just a dream...



Friday, October 26, 2012

emmm...

bulan nih..
sgt bnyk membebankn otak..
sgt bnyk memikirkn..
yg lalu..
sekarang..
yg depan..

bulan nih gak aku plg bnyk menangis..
sgt mcm dak kecik..
xtawu np..
but each time i remember those IDIOTS..
tears falls..
that make me another IDIOT..

terlalu bnyk yg aku dah ilang..
24 tahun..
cukup bnyk masa yg dihabiskn untuk menyayangi..
berkongsi perasaan..
yg akhirnya..
tetap sendirian..

hidup sekadar mimpi..
indah seketika..
ngeri pon sementara..
tapi kesan nya kekal...sampai bila2..

rindu untuk gembira..
senyum..
tertawa..
tapi..
menangis lbh mudah..

aku syg dia..
aku cinta dia..
aku rindu dia..
aku perlukan dia..
dan setiap DIA adalah org berbeza..
bukan tamak..
tapi hati akan kekal begitu..



tnx sbb pernah ada dlm hidup sy..
dan benarkan saya untuk terus disini..


Thursday, October 25, 2012

hanya sekadar mendengar...

lately sgt kerap teringat kt dia...
mungkin dia rasa aku nih kwn yg x guna..
or aku da lp kn dia..

aku tanya kwn2 len..
dia sht...?
baby dia ok ker?
i did remember all those great moment we once had..
tp aku tawu there is no way HE gonna let me see both of them..

hari tu...
lame gak bediri kt dpn lovely lace mid..
tgok kasut baby gurl..
cumil..
aku tawu klu beli pon aku xdpt nak bg..
n confirm baby tuh akn dpt yg lbh bek..

mungkin pd org len baby tuh x same..
but to me that lil angel will always be angel..
n aku sgt berharap..
dia xkn sia2 kn satu lagi kehidupan..

aku nak baby tu tawu dia ada uncle..
mungkin x sebaik org len..
but at least aku cube tuk jd baik..

mungkin satu masa nnt tuhan akn temukan aku ngn mereka..
x kira bila..
aku ttp akn tggu..


dia mesti akan cantik mcm mama dia..
slmt mlm...



Monday, October 22, 2012

i just did..

sometime faith is a bit cruel to me..
it send me a smile that ends with tears..
then came a heart yet it goes broken..
is it me..
or its really faith who is playing around....?

last weekend was a disaster..
i saw someone i used to know b4..
dia da ada family..
that person doesnt ever turn to look..
but i can see that they were happy togather..
that is what most important..

then..
i met someone..
thinking that it have been years when we last met..
i was thrilling with excitement but then..
it doesnt work well..
she told me she's getting engage soon..

hell shocked with that..
but i do wish she could find someone better..
n she did..
thanks God for making my pray came true..

i never ask anyone to wait..
n no one did..
that is why i think..
the best thing to do is..
"walk away"

aku sentiasa harap org akn lbh bahagia dari aku..
x kire saper pon org tuh..
dgn saper dia teruskan idop..
or what ever situation they face..
aku doakan mereka bahagia..

i'd choose my path..
n im not going to turn back..
thanks for all that "great memories"

23 October 2012 

Thursday, September 27, 2012

dulu..kn..

mlm ni..
tibe2 hati sebak biler pndang pic tu..
teringt yg satu masa dulu..
aku pernah syg die mcm family..
kami kongsi mcm2..

but things change..
die sbuk ngn awek..
n kawan2 bek die..
sape la aku nih klu nak dibandingkan dgn yg len..

kalu die anggap aku family..
mesti hati die teringat nak msg..
call biler free..
mungkin dtg menjenguk..
tp..

aku harap die sentiasa eppy..
aku doakn die x wat silap mcm aku..
syg org yg x perlu ada..

aku still ada adik2 aku yg len..
yg akn ada selama mungkin..
terima kasih tuhan kerana pinjamkan die..

" muhammad fathi hussien shaharudin"

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

ouh..

saya mohon..
jangan tanya saya tentang kahwin dan cinta..

life is not as easy as u tend to draw..
it was deeper then the sea..

i used to care too much for people i love..
in the end i lost those people that really love me..

and if u read this..
i really want u to know that..
saya x perlukan cinta..
dan saya x perlukan awak..

i have my own way to enjoy this life..
stop bugging me with ur stupid lies..

i told my parent that i wont get married..
i will adopt a child n care him like my own kids..
work damn hard to grab all my dream..
make it came true..
n stay with my beloved casabonda..

life is short..
thats what i mean..
short is no u, and only me...

Saturday, July 14, 2012

maaf..

maaf..
saya sangat penat..
da sampai masa untuk sÀAÀaya berehat..AAA

saya da xda masa untuk cari kamu lg..
cari dia..
awak dan sesiapa pon..
masa saya da terhad..

blog nih akan sepi seketika..
dan jika saya terus menghilang..
ertinya saya terus berehat..

saya mohon maaf pada semua..
saya cuma rasa lebih baik saya sembunyikan semuanya..
terima kasih..

Sunday, July 8, 2012

hari semakin suram..
ya tuhan berikan aku kekuatan..

tokbah still kt kpj kajang..
tiap2 kali jumpa dia akn nanges..
hancur rasanya hati..
dulu tokbah selalu wat lawak..
skrg sgt bnyk yg berubrah..


"aki tlg picit kpla tokbah''
x ssh nak wat mcm tu..
cume ssh nak thn air mata ni..
xnak dia tawu aku sedih..
dia kene kuat..
cepat sembuh..
dpt tgok kami ada kuarga sendiri..

when he hold my hand..
he said..
jgn simpn dndm..
jgn gaduh dgn kuarga..
dia je atuk yg smpt aku tmpg mnja..
n its breaks my heart.
seing him like that..

owh Allah..
please spare him few more years..
i love him even that i knew u love him more..

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

i

i'm glad that u finally met someone..
i guess he was special person..
just like u are..
hold him right..
wish u guys the best of luck..
<3

Sunday, June 17, 2012


im still looking for a piece of heart that gonna complete this chapter..
but..
when im thinking of having those feeling within me..
i kept worrying how bad its gonna hurt..
sometimes life is a bit unfair..
where bad people always wore high their pride..
of hurting people feeling..

i just wish it could be stop..
but it seem not..
and what i kept facing..
hurt..
and another hurts..

now i will always remind myself..
not to look back..
try to have another great day..
without getting hurt..
"NO LOVE"
no tears..
no more you..
and always be..
"ME"


" ya Rabbi jauhkan dia dari hati ku "


Friday, June 1, 2012

nothing speacial..

kadang2 aku pon pelik..
biler rmi yg ckp aku nih bertuah..
x dinafikan idop aku x sesusah org len..
cume the way they said those words are completely strange..

secara jujurnya..
aku x la se-handsome mat2 macho kt luar tuh..
x gak pndai mcm kwn2 yg len..
or kaya celah mane kn..
tp rmi yg ckp mcm nih..
"i just wish i could be at ur place"
becoz of wat?



org ckp aku stylo..
n ramai yg berubah lebih KEMAS lps kwn ngn aku..
n serunuk dpt buat perubahan tuh..

rmi gak dak2 kck yg nmpk aku n ckp nnt da beso nak jd mcm aku..
pelik..
sbb aper yg best nyer pasal diri aku nih?

ada masanya mls nak jg pnmpilan..
but then jmp quote nih..
so i learn to love myself more..
sbb..dulu..
aku rasa org akn terima aku seadanya..
but now thing are changging...
aku berubah untuk lbh dihargai..
dan bljr untuk lbh mnghargai..

hidup nih x seindah yg dilihat..
bnyk yg perlu disembunyikan..
yg pntg bibir sentiasa tersenyum..
untuk lbh mnceriakn hari yg mndatang..

dr apa yg pernah terjadi dulu..
aku lbh bahagia skrg..
BEBAS..
hidup nih singkat..
jgn sampi terlewat untuk menghargai diri sendiri..

 

lepaskan yg lalu..
dan hargai yg tersedia..
=)

Monday, May 28, 2012

pesan mak...

im spending 2 weeks away from casabonda..
where im trying to understand the way i am better..
tnx to ibu n abah that trying soo hard to comfort me..

mak ckp..
"kau ni sombong..ego"
i said, i smile to any person that walk through me
n im still "sombong?"
mak ckp..
"sombong sbb x cube bljr maafkn org..ego sbb rasa apa yg kau buat sumer betol"

yes i am..
wat else do i need to do..?
i trust ppl around me..
i neva cared about wat there were..
miskin ker kaya ker lawa ker..
that doesnt bother me even a bit..
but do they act the same toward me?
they dont..

my whole life was thinking wat the best for others..
n neva did for me..
n wat did i ask for return? 
non..
but ppl always look at the negative side of me..
n when i did the same..
once again...
im the only bad person who stand on earth..

klu die suker something..i would try to gave them the best i can..
klu dia x reti masak..its ok im going to cook for u the whole life ahead..
u dont look like models...fine atleast u always look good to me..
aku terima seadanya..y dont u??

yes i did wrong..
n im trying my best to try n correct every single mistake i did..
n y dont u do the same..?

i made up my mind now..
im not going to fall in love until i reach 28 y.o
by then im going to have my own lil family with those who really cared..

"knowing u was a miracle, but loving u is just a myth"

i dont turn twice at the same spot..
when i already walk through u..
just move away..n dont bother..
thanks..


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

we shouldn't wait for another mistake..



sometimes life ask us more then what we expected..
i used to know who i am, what i want who i'm gonna be and where to go..
but now..
" I'M LOST "


i always overlook the future..
this wasnt because i'm running away from my past..
but keeping those memories hurt me more then others think..


i thought walking in open wide future is much easier then walking through the past..
but it is not..
so i turn back and pick up every pieces of my past and hold it to gain strength to face days onward..


i wish i doesn't have to wait for any changes to happen..
as im the one who change my life..
but once again i forgot that this world wasnt all bout me..


"no matter how hard this life would be..
or how often its make u cry..
dont ever lost hope onto things that u believe.."




Saturday, May 5, 2012

wish i could stay..

dlm dunia nih rmi yg cube bantu diri sendiri tanpa pikir org len..
dan biler org len cuba bantu yg memerlukan ader plak yg nak tolong sshkn lg..

agak sedeh biler family aku lbh percayakn org len dari aku..
aper pun yg aku cube buat skrg nih..
aku da lama pikir..
lgpun nih dpt bntu aku jd org yg lbh baek kelak..
tp rmi yg x setuju..
soo instead of doing good things i started to do it wrong..
dan aku nak semua org yg buat aku berenti dari buat apa yg sepatutnyer aku buat tanggung..
sumer dosa n silap aku sepanjang hidup dieorg..

family aku ckp aku lbh kn org luar dr kuarga..
x tawu ker berapa bnyk yg aku da korbankn tuk family nih..
kuarga fifie ckp aku tlg org x beragak..
yes i am..
sbb aku bkn dok kt tepi tingkap sambil ckp..
"kesian org tuh..." tp x wat per2 tuk tolong..
this is real life..real story..
bkn mcm tgok drama sedey...tp ley ttp jer tv tuh..
bkn gak pesanan dlm buku2 agama..
baca dan tutup buku..
act like u care is the right way of showing ur emotion..

fifie marah aku kuarkn dia,..
tapi die x tawu ker np aku nak tlg dak nih?
sbb die ckp ni impian dia..
aku tlg realkn tp...?
tp die xkn phm..
dan aku xkn idop dgn org yg x phm diri aku..

ustaz tengku pesan..
"kami da cube semua yg kami mmpu, tp mungkin tuhan da tentukn yg kamu dpt bantu dia"
tp aku x mampu..
skrg aku nak kuar dr cnie..
xsggup duduk dgn org2 hipokrit..
tunjuk mcm baek..tp hati...iblis!

aku xkn nyesal dgn apa yg aku buat..
this is my life..
n this is only a beginning..
beware of wat eva im going to be..

once i hate u..
im not going to turn back..
tnx sbb x pernah cuba phm aku..

SELAMAT TINGGAL..

tnx zaha sbb ada masa aku perlukan teman..
"when doing the right things doesnt make any good, im going to do it wrongly"

Thursday, April 26, 2012

hati..

kdg2 rasa rindu sgt kt dieorg..
dulu selalu dtg cnie..
lpk2..
guraw2..
sesamer bgun lmbat..
tp skrg sumer da besar2..
sbuk ngn hal msg2..


betulkn dlm hidup nih sumer pinjaman..
sampai satu masa nnt..
kiter kene pulangkn gak..


mungkin ader sikit rasa kecewa..
biler die xder lgsung msg tanyer kabar..
x dtg mungkin x sempat..
tapi..dulu..
hurmmm..


aku cume rasa..
aku da tolong dieorg sumer dgn bek..
tanggungjawap aku da selesai..
da smpi masa aku tlg org len plak..
aku da halalkn sumer yg aku pernah bg dulu..


aku hrp dieorg akn jd org yg lbh baik..


skrg dpt kes baru..
walaupon tkot bnda yg same jd..
aku still akn cube tlg apa termampu..
hidup adalah untuk memberi..


cuma kali nih..
cube xnak libatkn perasaan personal..
sbb xnak sshkn sesaper lg..
die pernah ada dlm idop aku..
selamanya ttp ada..


bile rindu giler kt dieorg..
aku duduk kt bilik..
kt cnie r sumer kngan tuh ada..
tnx Allah untuk semua senyuman itu..
=)

Monday, April 16, 2012

dengan izin Nya~

masa jg mak kt ospital..
fifie gtawu yg anak jiran dia masuk wad gak..
dak lelaki..
teragak nak tgok..
tp biler nak g jer..mesti ader yg mghalang..
so aku pesan dlm ati..
"klu tuhan rasa aku perlu jumpa dia, aku ttp akn jmp"
then aku jumpa gak dak tuh..
borak2..
tmn dia lpk2..


x bnyk yg die ceritakn..
tp da bnyk yg aku tawu..
tuh yg wat aku sgt teringin jumpa dak tuh..
x sangka dia da lalui mcm2 dlm idop nih..
beza 4 taun dari aku..
tp idop die lbh bnyk kisah sedey..


kali ke2 jmp dia..
tgok die x berapa ok..
dia asek pegang perot..
then gtawu yg kepala dia sakit sgt..
aku g jmp doktor..
mintak kn ubat..
tp sumer wat dek jer..
aku g kt dia blik..
pegang kepala dia..
sagt panas!
cpt2 g cari towel kecik tuamkn..
die mcm x sangka aku akn wat mcm tuh..
aku pon x caya aku wat sumer tu..
x lame lps tuam tuh dia tertido..


teringt sumer kngan lps..
jg adik2 aku..
cuma..
xper lah tuhan lbh tawu..
lama gak dia tido..
lega biler die ckp dia da x pening..kepala pon da x panas lg..


sedih biler tgok tmpt org len..
mcm2 mknan ader..
dia ader air soya jer..tuh pon bp kotak jer..
aku belikn skt mknan..
n tuh r yg dia mkn tiap2 hari..
lauk hospital? huuh...aku yg sht pon x lalu nak mkn..
hahaa~


harini dia da boleh kuar wad..
dia msg gtawu..
sempt gak jmp dia kejap td..
die ckp..
"terima kasih bang dtg melawat saya"
sedih plak aku rasa..
x tawu biler dpt jmp dia..


aku hrp sgt2 dpt tlg dia..
dpt ubah idop dia..
skt pon jd la..
x kire mcm mn ssh yg aku rasa..
aku x pernah ssh mcm dia rasa..


tnx pd fifie yg sentiasa bg sokongan..
n tnx gak knl kn aku dunia yg aku x pernah tawu..
seronok biler ada yg akn support aper yg kiter nak wat..
hrp tuhan akn izinkn sumer nyer dgn baek..
<3

mimpian..

this is not a typing error..
it is one of my words that i would use to describe my life..
mimpi yg xkn jadi kenyataan..


da seminggu mak kt ospital..
tiap2 hari dtg melawat..
lagi lama mak kt wad..
makin terok yg aku rasa..
rutin harian aku..
dari jam 6 pg aku da bgun wat sarapan..
tok mak..ayah n akak..
akk jg mak mlm smpi pg..
jmpot akk trus anto mknan tok mak..


blik umah..
basuh baju..
clearkn pinggan mangkok yg kotor..
kms umah..
penat...tp aku serunok dpt buat sumer tuh..
cuma..


semalam..hari plg terok bg aku..
aku rasa aku da wat mcm2 tok sumer org..
tp xtawu np..
org ttp slhkn aku gak..


ibu marah sbb aku x salam pak ngah..
dia ckp "xboleh ker bg mak sng ati? mak kn x sht"
aku cuba..tp aku x sedia tok buat sumer tuh..tp still aku wat tok sumer org..
aku blik umah...bru kms da bersepah..
aku bising2..ayah ckp "sian akk ko tuh pnt jg mak kt ospital"
aku yg kt umah nih x pnt ker?
bru ingt nak ngadu kt mak..
tibe2 mak ckp "nape ko asek marah adik? x boleh ker berbaik2..kn mak nih x sht lg?"
aku terkejot..biler aku marah dia?
dia kol maki hamun aku..msg maki2 aku..
aku delete jer..
sbb xmo gado dpn mak n ayah..
nenek pon salahkn aku sbb x hormat pak ngah..


aku kene jg sumer hati org len..
tp hati aku ader ker yg kesah? 
aku da x kesah ngn aper yg org ckp..
cumer sedey sbb xder yg cuba phm aku..


klu aku perlu jauh tok kuarga ni rasa sempurna..
aku akn pergi..


da lame aku sediakn diri..
aku da dpt offer kijer..
ader tmpt tinggal..
tiket flight..
n ckt wet poket..


xder yg pernah tanyer..
np aku rmi kwn ngn yg kijer kt airport..
kt pjbt pndaftaran..
yg uruskn tiket..
n rmi kwn luar malaysia..


sbb klu aku pergi..
aku nak pastikn xkn ader yg akn jmpa aku lg..
aku tunggu masa tu tibe..
cume skrg..
ader seseorg yg pntg tok aku..
yg buat aku rasa selesa..
xnak buat dia sedey..


tnx sbb selalu ada..
hrp tuhan kuatkn smgt aku..=')

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

somewhere in 2010

bkn semua kngan tuh indah..
tp smpi biler2 kiter akn ingt sumer yg pernah terjadi..
wise ppl said..
by forgiving those we hate will gave us spaces to forget them..
but wat if they keep doing the same mistake??
hate them more?


ader sorg dak pmpuan nih..
yg cube wujud dlm dunia aku..
try to act concern like she knew everything im facing..
seseorg yg aku juga cube terima..
dan akhirnya..
ermmm...


ada satu hari tuh..
aku da plan nak mkn ngn adik aku..
the he said he was fine with the idea..
so we will out for pasar mlm n dine with list of foods..
suddenly..
i got his text saying that..
"bang, kwn sy mntk tlg tunjukkn jln ke OU..boleh"
how come i say no..
i said yes..n ask..
"u will be here for diner right?"
he said yes..n i wait..


i try to text him..
call him..
n wat eva i can to reach him..
i look at the clock on my table..
11pm..
where he is...n what am i?


then he text me..
maaf bang beteri kong..
both phone?
he said no..just the celcome one..cant u switch it? 
dia jwp..
"haah x terpikir plak.."
he start to give excuse..
he said his frnd had bout movie tickets..
ask him to join her for diner..
bla..bla..bla..


i ask him..what is his frnd names..
n he told me..
after few years..
im trying to accept that gurl..
as my lil brother told me how much important that gurl to him..
after few times we met..
i put my trust on her..
n u know wat did she do then?
he kept secretes from me..


i will neva accept her in my whole life eva again..
i made her think that im part of their life..
i share thing out..
like family..
n this is wat she pay me with..


life is karma...
n u will be in my place..
sooner or later..
i just cant wait to see ur tears pouring back..
this is my curse..
tnx for making me feel stupid..

Thursday, April 5, 2012

memoir*

mlm nih tetibe teringat satu name..
someone yg aku pernah jumpa dulu..
yg bnyk gak kngan ngn aku..
ngn perangai degil dia..
hurmmm..


aku x suker jd facilitator.. 
sbb akn bnyk sgt kngan baru yg akn tercipta..
biler org da lupakn semua tuh..
aku still akn ingt..
n im the one who is being burden by those things..


lbh kurang seminggu aku kt sana..
serunuk sgt..
dia antara yg dok kt dorm lame aku..
masa die tgh smbung form 6..
ayah dia meninggal..
aku kol..
tp xdpt ckp ngn dia..


tu r kali terakhir aku cube berhubung..
life is a bit complicated now..
aku bangga tgok idop dia..
well organized then i am..
n much closer to Allah..
aku...?
dlm dunia aku lg..


dia bru app fb aku..
tp aku x rasa dia ingt lg aku saper..
n aku rasa aku x lyk tok dkt ngn org2 baek..
aku cuma hrp dia akn dpt capai sumer impian dia..
tnx tok kenangan yg ada..


maaf abg x pernah cuba cari kamo..

Thursday, March 29, 2012

this is a gift..
from a heart..
created from sea..
made with lots of love..

one of my finest craft..
hahaa..
aku harap dia suker..
kngan picnic pertama kami..
x semahal hadiah len yg dia pernah dpt..
tp kngan yg ada tuh xkn mmpu dibayar smpi biler2..


hrp klu ada masa nnt ley lpk2 sesama lg kn..
tnx sbb selalu ada..
skrg family da knl sumer..
hahaaa~


simpan bek2 k..
hrp sumer nyer akn eppy smpi biler2..
<3
 

Monday, March 26, 2012

wah..
da sgt lame x update tok seribu bintang..
agak bz cecuti nih..
to much thing i hope to work on..
n some part are already done..
huhuhuu..
so here u go..
kerana seribu bintang..


mak n ayah..
yg sentiasa ada sokong aku dari dulu..
sampi sekarang..
mak n ayah selalu x sht skrg nih..
biler ada masa lpk sesamer..
serunuk sgt..
hrp tuhan akn pnjgkn umo kiter sumer..
dan harungi hari yg mndatang dgn lbh bek..


my sis..
kak long n ma..
xder saper yg dpt gnti tmpt dia org nih..
after going through hard time for years..
kami jd makin mtg n lbh memahami..
x kire aper pon yg jd..
they still the best sibling i eva had..


ibu n abah..
x kire jauh mana..
ibu n abah mesti akn dtg jumpa kiteorg kt cnie..
dgr masalah..
share cerita..
just like we always did when we were kids..
nothing change..
just now we were much more closer..
tnx for always being here..


adik syah..
lps bertaun dia hilang..
aku x sgka dia akn ingt kt aku n family lg..
bila dia dtg tgok mak sakit rituh..
rasa serunuk sgt..
even though he changed a bit..
dia ttp adik aku..yg org len xkn phm..
x sangka dia still pki cincin yg aku tmph tuk dia dulu..
tnx dik sbb dtg semula..


adik usein..
siyes windu masa2 mcm nih..
tempura mutantur etnos mutammur in illis..
yes..
so did he..changed..
nothing wrong with it..
cume mengharap yg dia xkn ilang dari idop aku..
abg doakn kamo sentiasa eppi ngn sape2 pon yg kamu pilih..
tnx dik sbb bnyk ajar abg hargai idop nih..
i will neva forget that night when he said..
"sy ada abg sorg jer"


fifie n nanad...
kwn bek aku kt kls..
bnyk yg dieorg tolong dr awal2 knl dlu..
tnx sebab sudi kwn ngn aku..
walaupon rmi yg ckp aku terok..
n sowi sgt2 klu kdg2 aku wat korang annoyed..
im just love to be different..
this is me..
n thanks for accepting the way i am..


zaha..
one of my best frnd..
jarang ada kt kolej..
tp selalu ada kt mid..
hahaaaa~
die jenis yg eppy go lucky..
yg ley sembunyi apa yg dia rasa dr org len..
siyes mmg best klu dpt jd die..
tnx sbb sentiasa ada biler aku boring..
tnx for those cute gifts..
next sem lpk sesamer lg k..


nuar..
best frnd aku gak dr form 6 dulu..
walaupon dia da sgt bz sekarang..
dia still ada masa tok tanye kaba aku..
watkn craft for my birthday..
n he do a lot of great things for me since we 1st met..
kwn yg sgt baek..
x kire jaoh mane pon..
dia xpernah lpkn aku..
tnx nuar!


hakem..
dak kecik nih aku bru lg knl..
kecik..stylo..sempoi..
hahaa..
aku jumpa dia masa aku tol2 perlukn kwn tmn aku lpk..
tmn aku borak..
tmn aku mkn..
even that he was way younger then i am..
otak die lbh kurang samer jer ngn aku..
lps terjumpa kali pertama dlu..
siyes aku x sangka akn jmpa dia lg..
tp malangnyer mmg jumpa..
hahaa..
tnx bro selalu semak2 kt de' qaseh ngn aku..


dak busuk nih plak bru wujud..
tp siyes sgt serunuk knl ngn die..
we share same gift..
love craft..but i guess he did soo much better then me..
masa aku rindu adik2 aku..n sorg pon x msg aku..
die selalu ada..
kdg2 wat aku marah gak..
tp for god sake..die gak yg wat aku eppy..


bad n sob..
the best room mate eva!
walaupon kdg2 aku ngamok tetibe..
dieorg still ok ngn aku...
siyes dieorg bnyk tlg aku dari awal2 lg..
serunuk giler biler dpt lpk sesamer..
im hoping that for upcoming semester..
we gonna be much comfort with each other behavior..
huhuhu..


daniel..
yeah party friend..huhuaaa~
walaupon die x berapa betol..
tp die still kwn yg sgt baek pd aku..
we share our problem..
bertuka idea..
n lpk kt tmpt yg aku siyes suker sgt lpk..
huhuhu..
tnx bnyk da blnja aku..
nnt blnja lg k..=p

rmi lg yg aku nak sebot kt cnie..
tp mesti org akn busan sbb rmi sgt..
i just wanna said..
i really love u guys..
not because wat u guys did for me..
but wat u guys have make me be..
"a better person"
thanks to..
zaff-tqah-kwn2 bhrm-dhrm-
lectures-fb frnds
n sumer yg knl aku..

special thanks to mohsen..
yg sgt kerap wat aku ngamok..
tp atleast die selalu ada biler aku tgh emo..
im not using u as punch beg..
but i need to share my feelings..
n tnx for being there for me..

tnx to all stars..
i miss u much n love u more..<3

-yo seob iskandar-













Thursday, March 15, 2012

i am aint any doctor..

L+O+V+E = pain?


ramai yg tawu ucap..
i love u..
sy syg awak..
but do they really know what is love about?


it wasnt just words..
it was bout feeling..
things that tide u with a person..
person who we cared..
n cared for us too..


klu becinta..
tp mulut x berenti maki hamun..
or keep on doing something that will hurt both of u..
that wasnt love..
it was only trend..
where ppl kept on doing what others did..


klu kamo wat silap..
betulkan..
mengaku..
n mintak maaf..
klu dia marah..
BUKAN tanda dia MARAH SYG..
life is not a drama..


love is where u neva got chance to say sorry..
coz u will have to think twice before u said something..
love come from heart..
wasnt from mouth..
feel it inside..


belom terlambat tol betulkn kesilapan tuh..
be wise..
u have to know who u really love..
n who really love u..
if u kept hurting ur self for things that wont came right..
u will probably make it worse...


jgn terlalu syg seseorg..
sampai lupa kn sumer yg jelas n nyata..
love is something u cant buy..
u cant even get it easily..
work for it..


it will be a reward from God..
and only he knows..
who will be the right person for u..
CHANGE..
before its too late..
n SWEAR..
if u love someone..
neva hurt them..
n LEARN..
if they love u..
they will neva hurt u too..


i LOVE u <3

Monday, February 27, 2012

mak..

da 2-3 ari mak x sht..
lemah jer..
nak gerak pon ssh..
sakit2 bdn..


pg td mak ader appoinment ngn pakar kt ospital..
ayah xdpt cuti..
kak long ader kursus..
so aku x jd blik..
g tmn mak g ospital..


berjam2 tunggu..
sampi mak da x thn da..
then sampi giliran..
x smpt cek pon..
doktor da transfer mak kt wat kecemasan..
masa dftar jer..
trus bunyi siren zon kuning..


tuhan jer yg tawu apa aku rasa..
aku tercengang2 sini sana..
lps dftr trus msg ayah..
ayah trus amek cuti..
x sampi hati tgok mak baring dlm wad tuh..


aku diarahkn keluar..
then aku msg adik beradik yg len..
k.long kol tanyer mcm mn mak..
ma pon kol gak..
tp adik yg 2 tuh msg jer "baik"
tu jer..


mak sebut name kamo siang mlm..
da la x blik2 umah lg..
kol pon xder..
kami anggp kamo mcm family..
x sangka kamo akn wat x tawu jer biler mak sakit..

demi Allah..
abg x pernah jmp org mcm nih..
tuhan tuh adil..
sampi masa nnt..
kamu akn rasa sumer nih..

aku harap mak cpt sembuh..
sunyi sgt biler mak xder..
n sedey betol biler tgok mak baring atas katil tuh..

mak risau aku pnt...
x pnt pon..
dulu mak jg aku siang mlm kt wad..
mak x bersungut pon..
skrg giliran aku lak..
final exam khamis nih...?
ermmm...
maaf...mak sy lbh penting dr sumer tuh..

tuhan..
permudahkn segala urusannya..
sembuhkanlah dia..
dan benarkan kami mengasihinya seperti dahulu..

 

Sunday, February 26, 2012

im sorry..

da lama nak post pasal nih..
tp sentiasa rasa sedey..
tp it was something that i really want them to know..

teringat masa konvo rituh..
aku rasa eppy sgt dpt lpk2 ngn kwn2 dip..
jln2 merata..
walaupon bnyk yg da berubah..
tapi relationship tuh sgt kuat..

tp masa konvo tuh..
aku spoil kn rasa eppy sumer org..
tawu napa?

sbb aku rasa rindu sgt kt korg sumer..
mmg korg ley ckp korg pon rindu..
tp aku yg stay kt kuis nih..
yg teringt semua kngn yg pernah ada dulu..
sumer tmpt yg kiter lpk..
sumer saat yg ada..
xboleh ker korg spare another few minutes for us..
just for once?

then masa kuar ke putrajaya..
aku serunuk dgr anne ada sama..
tp aku tawu lps apa yg jd..
kami xkn same mcm dulu..
cuma..
aku pon hrp dpt betul kn sumer yg silap dulu..

mmg slh aku ngamok2 rituh..
tp ada x yg phm ape aku rasa...?
xder..
cuma zaie yg tunggu smpi sumer org da blik..
tnx zaie..
 

aku mintak maaf klu aper yg jadi ritu..
wat korg rasa xder apa yg nak dikenang lg..
tp..
korg r kwn terbaik aku pernah ada..
tnx sumer..


Friday, February 24, 2012

tnx Allah..

mlm nih akn tido dgn lena..
rasa serunuk sgt..
rasa sgt dihargai..


td golek2 borak ngn mak n ayah..
then mak kt sungai buloh call..
windu lak nak blik sana..


baru kejap td..
adik call..
lame gak borak..
serunuk tawu dia da mula idop baru..
aku hrp dia xkn ulang kesilapan lalu..


kak long da tido..
penat g kursus halal..
adik ma lak ayah ckp nak g jom heboh..
sumer sng ati..


adik kecit aku yg sorg tuh jer..
yg sgt jrg ada..
tp aku tawu dia ingt kt aku..
cuma da sbuk ngn idop baru dia..
hrp satu masa nnt dia akn ingt aku selalu..


walaupon aku selalu bersungut..
x bersyukur..
Allah still bg aku pluang tuk bahagia..
terima kasih Allah..
hidup ini mmg indah..


selamat mlm sumer..=)

Thursday, February 23, 2012

kenapa aku..?

rmi yg mula tanya nape blog aku n fb aku selalu sgt sedeh2..
hahaa..
terdiam..
blog n fb yg sedeh? aku nih?

actually hidup nih mmg bnyk yg sedeh..
satu pelajaran..
apa pun yg kita wat..
kita sendiri yg akn tanggung..

aku rasa aku da bnyk berubah..
tp org cume nmpk aku berubah luaran..
makin bergaya..
makin smart..
mmg..
aku paksa diri aku tuk nmpk lbh hebat..
but why...?

aku nak org yg lupakn aku rasa rugi aku xder dlm idop mereka..
tapi hakikatnya..
mereka still ok ngn life mereka..
aku?
yg berangan dunia nih ada untuk aku..

aku da merasa hidup senang..
duduk tmpt mewah..
mkn mahal2..
naek mcm2 knderaan mewah..
but its not wat i've been looking for..
im still looking for wat i really need..

aku x pernah bercinta..?
x..
sbb aku bnyk komitmen laen..
aku xnak org tunggu aku..
mgharap pd aku..
sbb aku bnyk urusan yg blom selesai..
aku syg..
aku suka..
tp aku lbh pntgkn apa yg mereka perlukn..
bkn trus pntgkn diri..

klu mereka pilih untuk jauh dari aku..
aku akn undur diri..
bukan membenci..
tp lbh menghormati..
 

hidup adalah untuk terusan memberi..

kt sini r tmpt aku tenangkn perasaan...=)


gempak starz!!

“ ader fiesta gempak starz at sungei wang plaza on 21 till 23 november,

Unfortunately I wasn’t there…but my lil bro do snap some pic..love to share but wait till I get my hand on it k..

there were some probs hppnd to the internet connection…arghh!!! Hate it..wait k”

life n tears...




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coz i neva turn back....

life keep grabbing my heart out n left me hopeless with tears..

N yet I neva turn my back on them..

I’m holding my love too tide n lose my grip..

N yet I rather hurt myself then hurting someone else..

I’m trying my best to complete others..

N yet people will miss understood of who am I really was..

I always left my heart wide open for people to stay when they need a shelter..

N yet I’m the one who wondering around with no place to go..

If I touch a heart I’ll make it warm..

N yet mine will frost like winter untouched…

I kept my past right next to me, so I won’t forgot even a bit..

N yet people don’t even noticed dat I was there in their past..

If one day I closed my eyes n neva open for a second..

N yet all this will remain the same..

Coz it was u who make me someone..”

Iskandar issacc

if i neva touch the ground, would i b flying?




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untouch luck...

it have been few weeks since the new sems started, but i haven't get the feeling yet..this sems seem to be started rough, as u may seen in the news lately, there have been a strike here..n it was bad..i was there, but....maybe just a wave would b better...

being cnior is not wat i tot it going to be, i'm trying to cope with it n yet i didnt come to any success.. i'm forcing my self to delivered wat i learn in past, n wat i meet is wat i dont want to happend..

next weekend i supposed to join a trip held at Cameron highland under the lead of brother john n once again i need to pull my self out..i need to focus on my final year project..lotz of things need to b prepared..n im soo sorry coz i miss the trip..

when u need to have someone by ur side, n u called them a "FRIEND"....but they arent there to help u..how do u feel?? im trying the best i can for the whole world, n i do belive there is always a place i can stay in my rainy days...but i havent see it yet..

maybe i was a bad person then God send me asign that i am...if i was, i hope that there will always be an angel holding my hand till i reach the end...

p/s sorry abg john..

cinta yg bukan untukku....

aDa BanYak RasE CiNta DaLaM DunIa

tApi bUkaN sEmuA BolEh DiGapaI

hAnyA 1 CiNta yang aKan kEkaL

-TE’ AMOUR-

biler time cecuti...

ujung minggu lps besh giler....kengkawan dari kolej n USIM dtg lepak kt umah aku...perh meriah giler lg meriah dari meriah carey...ahakz!! spanjang minggu asek merayap jer..then biler mlm x tido asek pk saper lg nak kener kutok...wawawawaaa...

ni r zahar n nuar kawan bek aku dr dlu...bnyk kongsi citer sedey n eppy..skrg nih bru masuk sems baru..soo bnyk yg nak kener wat..seronok gak r dpt enjoy sblum abes cuti kn..

aper2 pon tnx kt korg yg sudi dtg melawat "casaBonda" huhu..ader maser free dtg lg k..result da kuar..sumer ok jer walaupon x gempak mane..soo now lets start another great journey!! yeh chayok2!!

cuti-cuti port dickson....jom!!




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atas jeti.....3 bujang impian..huhuhuu..




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uihhh....macho nyer...ehikz!




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sands castle.....




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ari da mlm....




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jop baso kaki...hehe..





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a great daddy of Rizq....




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stylo nyer papa mude erk..hehe..




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i wanna be a GREAT DAD too..

we will neva knew wat life will bring us in future..but wat i want is to be a great dad just like the person in the pic above..his name is "abg man" just like a brother to me..

die ader baby name nyer "muhammad rizq firdaus" cute kn?? huhu..i neva think bout marriage but i do love kids..few days ago i ask my mom "mak org nak amek anak angkt sblum kawen ley?" n my mom said "ko da giler?? jgn nak ngada.." ahakz!!

my life is a bit diffrent from others did..when i say i love someone, it mean i care..but to others it mean they were in love.. huhuhu..i love my attitude..i dont care wat others will said..

to my dad n others dad out there...u r such a great guy...n i hope i can b one soon...ahaaa..

p/s wait...one day i will propose someone from my blog..guess who?? huhuhu...

ingt ko GREAT TEACHER ONIZUKA kew??

ingt ko GREAT TEACHER ONIZUKA kew??

plastik kew keluli tahan karat??

post kali nih mcm 360' gak r...org slalu ckp asal org sekarang makin teruk kn?? just look to the public..wat hppnd? dunia da modern baju pon xyah pki kn?? n yg plg hangin nyer..taw slhkn org but neva look 4 their own mistake..wat did u do to help?

aku ader knl beberape org guru muda..aku just dengarkn jer cerita yg ntah hape pasal dieorg nih..jop ngumpat jap..

1st kes guru pempuan..x bp rapat ngn aku tp dr aper yg aku tgok die x patot jd guru..u know wat u get from respect ur teacher? u'll learn how to respect ur self better..tp cikgu nih ajo anak murid die jd lg teruk..dgn pic ngarot2 ngn anak murid nyer..ntah r..aku raser bek dok umah jer or keje kt paso mlm sbb org mcm die nih taw merosakkan jer..

2nd nih cikgu laki lucky lak...kerja die menyalahkn org len, mcm2 yg anak murid die wat n sumer nyer salah..hey...why not, just look at urself n wat did u do...they wetre all 17-18 or maybe younger then u r..if u think dat u r going to enjoy ur age now..why cant they do the same?? xyah jauh la klu nak wat kijer jht nih..on9 pon ley jeer..aku mmg x phm, ko ni mungkin bodoh sbb minum air kencing cicak bnyk sgt kot.. klu da taw bender tu x elok wat per g cuber...u already know the effect la..aiyaaa...siao la lu..

3rd ni pensyarah...muda sgt n bangga dpt jd pensyarah...xder saper suker kener tipu kn? so ko raser jd pensyarah tu da bgus sgt...bek g dok kt pulau la ajo berok ker org utan.. die asek ngamok anak murid die wat hal jer kt kelas.. padahal die asek menipu mak bapak die 24jam..bgus ker?

disebabkn org mcm nih r yg akn jdkn dunia nih hancur...aku raser klu x g sekolah pon bgus daripada jumpa org plastik mcm nih.aku x risau da aper nak jd kt korg, tp sian mak bapak yg harap anak die jd bgus blajo ngn korg, ader gak yg bg alasan "aku bkn nak pon jd guru nih" hell u... move ur big bud away, ader rmi lg guru yg lyk ganti korg la..huh ni yg hangin nih..

k renung2 kn r masalah nih..aku mmg caci maki guru mcm nih..g r dok kt tasek ker pub ker disco ker menjaja or overtime kijer ker..dr merosakkn org len..huh..

daniel ngn adeq2 nyer..uhuuu..

daniel ngn adeq2 nyer..uhuuu..

picnic rayer tepi laot ader org wat ker??

picnic rayer tepi laot ader org wat ker??

kawan2..yg sgt rupawan ahakz!

kawan2..yg sgt rupawan ahakz!

cuti + raya = aku wahaha...

my sems break have started since 2 days b4 raya...n hell i am enjoying it alot..huhuhu..but too many things to do, n yet i'm well prepared for raya..1st day of rayer ends just nice like it always be..all the relative from my dads side were here...around 50 ppl in da house..wahaha..great im having sooo much fun n TIRED..!

2md day relative from my mom side..just few of them were here...n tnx God for dat ahakz!..then the raye continued to the next level...friendz..yes they do come..tnx to DANIEl n his lil bro the 1st person who came to my house, then ZAIE-IWAN-KELLY-KEMA n da UJAN BAND...huhuhu u neva gonna believe my..coz u know i'm lying..hukhukhuk..

raye is still in the air...but for me..its DONE! coz it time for me to enjoy my holiday...with or without others coz i'm used to it.. now i'm sitting in my room doing soo many thing dat i love to n neva got time to do it..dont ask..ahakz! hurmmm..

a day b4 raya, i got a huge box of gift posted from SARAWAK n i'm soo lucky to have it...huhuhu...tnx to my lil frnds n lil bro...i miz him..huhuhu..a craft from the land dat i neva step in yet n GOD' will i'll b there one day..

this is my first post after i finished my exam...yea final exam n im calming my self down of thinking how bad the result will be...huhuhu..yea just let it b i done the best i can rite.. hurmmm love to b around n glad to read u guyz updated blog..soo c yea bye...

kerana seribu bintang.....*

ni mungkin entry last untuk semesta nih coz aku still ader 3 paper exam yg lom abes lg then trus nak rayer...leceh giler bnyk sgt benda x siap nak diuruskan lg..

tujuan entry nih tuk singkatkan aper yg jadi dlm sem nih, n tuk ucapkan ribuan terima kasih tuk sumer yg da bnyk bantu aku dalam sumer urusan, moga urusan korg lebih dipermudahknNya.

sem ni lah sem yg plg singkt lebih singkt dari skirt amoi kt kedai topup tuh, huhuhuu...tp bnyk sgt kenangan yg best dlm sem ni.. dari awal sem ritu aku jumpa mcm2 org yg amat2 buat aku bahagia..even that some of them were making their own ways now, i still can feel their presence here with me..

life will take part in everything u will do next, but wat its left will stay that way forever...aku mungkin banyk marah org kblkgan nih, tp x bermakna aku benci..n ramai org wat aku tension n sedey tp x bermakna aku da lupakn korg..n i hope i've bring-up lots of smile for this semestar..

pada aku, "semalam xkn berakhir hanya kerana tarikh bertukar, esok xkn terjadi hanya kerana ia tiada disisi, kelak xkn hilang selagi kenangan masih dihati" tnx alot for makin my life worth a 1000 sky..

anuar omar...*




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siti fatimah kamaruddin *




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fatin-tqah...*




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awzaie Dr. mujaini....*




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syahad-zahar...*




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nurul nurzafirah...*




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putra marzuki...*




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brother john iverson...*




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adam zikry...*




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nazrul...*




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syahmizar...*




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imran-is-akem-zahar-sya-syah...*




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DBM4 student...*




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bezday gathering...*




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thanks a lot to all people dat try to do their best for me..ni r org2 yg sentiasa ader n pernah buat aku eppy sgt2...sentiasa sokong aku, sentiasa bg semangat, nasihat, dengar masalah aku..n jadikan tiap2 hari aku lebih bermakna..walaupon kenal dalam masa yg singkat...tnx n neva forget this memory eva..love u guyz alot...

minah terlampau....




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ah long ma!!




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exam pasar lambak..

kenape r perempuan nih selalu wat aku resah..hurmmm..
rini aku ader paper..exam final tuk sems nih..ader ker patot
da nak akhir exam tuh ader sorg awek yg x cantek pon..
angkt kasot die tinggi giler...aku mula2 x pasan sgt..tp..
da r wana oren bekilat lak tuh...adoi..pening kepale..

aku wat xtaw jer r...tp dalam ati mmg panas jer...ingt die sorg ader kasot bru..huh..dgn tetibe aku jd lg hangin biler pempuan2 yg len mula becerita pasal kasot n antaranya ialah..
"kasot die tuh same jer ngn aku tp tinggi sikit" "kasot tuh da ok just wana jer x padan" "tgok kasot aku biru nih, bru gak" aku raser mcm nak hayun kerusi meja tuh kt kepale dieorg..

ader gak yg trus citer pasal raya..adoi...adoi...lg pening aku.. tp nak wat mcm mn truskn jer i kehidupan dengan kaum yg x bertamadun nih..huh! lps tuh bru aku perasan..nombor meja aku tuh da mcm tmpt tmpal notis "ah long" hurmmm...xper r.. nak wat mcm mn...nak senang xnak pikir kesan nyer nnt..

soo next time klu korg nak g exam kn..tlg bawak lastik..n batu bata..korg sental jer minah ker mamat ker yg melaran mcm org giler n mengganngu ketenteraman awam tuh..hurmm ok..
nak g buang panas dlu..

tuan punya blog....huhu..




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nape DIA berubah...?

Banyak yg kiter lupe tentang persahabatan, kiter cume tahu kite lakukan kesilapan

biler kite kehilangan sesuatu yg kite hargai dan sangat perlukan..tanpa memikirkan

ape yg org lain perlukan dari kite..sedar x kite perlukan kawan hanya untuk sesuatu

1-kawan kiter bukan kedai topup, biler xder kredit jer kite cari..

2-kawan kite bukan tmpt kereta sewa, ble nak jalan bru ingat..

3-kawan kite bukan badan kebajikan biler xder duet bru nak tanye kabo..

4-kawan kite bukan supermarket, nak ape jer mintak..

5-kawan kite bukan funfair, biler eppy jer datang..

6-kawan kite bukan cafeteria bile lapo bru dtg mencari..

7-kawan kite bukan bustand dok tunggu org datang..

8-kawan kite bukan public phone, sumer org ley tompang call..

9-kawan kite bukan tuhan sentiasa tahu ape yg kite mahukan..

10-kawan kite bukan yang kite kenal dulu..

Ape yg kite pernah lakukan, dia akan ingat sampai biler2..

Kalu kiter sorg kawan kite akn paham hati kawan yg lain.

p/s-ada dalam satu blog sebelum nih, die kutuk dan maki hamun kawan die

siap cakap ketiak mmber dia berbau sbb x pakai deodorant, tp lps knl dia..

aku rasa hati dial g busok dari ketiak kawan dia..sedar la sblum terlambat!

a life i never wanted to have..

the great things happened when someone broke your heart is, it will brake into pieces and get more then it was before..if they dont break your HEART it will stay one part..and only enough for a person u love most...

in my life, people come touch my heart n then left without even say goodbye..its ok, it will never be their fault to do so..coz they gave me another way of being what i need to be...STRONGGER then ever..n yes i tear it all but its make me feel much better then i am before..

having a great life doesnt mean u have to be happy or each of ur wish need to come true..but the way u make it come true is well know as a life..that will lead u to be a BETTER person..

i found soo many intresting people around me, they were people that teach my how to have a great life here n here after.. they were not a PERFECT person, but a perfect frendz..

one day my life will ends too, before i close my eyes i want all of you to know that..wat ever happened as long as we know each others will be a nice MEMORY to me..n thanks alot for always being here..and willing to gave such a great smile for making my life worth a thousand skies..

remember my words, if someone break ur heart, turn to them and say " THANK YOU"...they have help you to become a better person then u are now...n Gods have said in Holy Furqan, "those who love their family and frends will enter heaven freely" so spread ur love n try not to hurt anyone..

DBM students...




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speacially edited..




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jejaka rebutan...




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the moment that never went away..

poser ke 5 lepas kiterorg berbuke poser kt "Restoran Tasik Idaman" mmg best sgt2 the whole DBM was there..jarang sgt2 dpt pluang mcm tuh..walaupon budget nyer agak besar tp mmg puas ati sgt2...

segala mcm mknan ader...n bukan mknan yg wat keadaan tuh best giler..tp kawan2 yg dtg n support, then sumer eppy smpi blik tuh..tempat tuh mmg agak best gak tuk lepak..tepi tasek yg sangat cantek...then alunan gamelan dari mula sampai hingga balik..

ader pic kt stage gamelan n the whole artis but got probs with the cameras maybe i'll put it latter..huhuhuu..tp mmg gempak giler..wish to have it again..

tnx alot to all frndz and the tasek idaman workers..walaupon perangai kiterorg jauh lg terok dr anto..huhuhu sumer pekerja lyn baek jer..huhuhuu..kenangan nih akn jd antara yg plg best satu ari nnt..

tuan muda iskandar...ahakz!




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maharagu nuar...heee..




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duda sepi....ehikz!

sabtu lps aku merayap ngn mmber baek aku kt nilai, nompang kt umah die..huhuhuu..taw naper? sbb aku ditinggalkn kesorangan kt bilik..mklum r org len sumer umah dekat jew..aku jauh ck8..

naseb bek nuar ader, gerak dr kolej da nak dekat buka...trus g kedai mkn then oder mknan yg sgt2 sedap...tp x trus mkn yer..tunggu azan dlu..huhuhuu..

lps kenyang melantak, blik umah nuar...berkenalan ngn rakan2 serumah then solat maghrib..rht2 jap pastu g solat isyak n teraweh kt "masjid PUTRA" best sangat...selalu dok teraweh kt bilik jer..lps tuh kite org merayap lg g mcm2 tmpt tok enjoykn ati yg sunyi..huhuhuu..

x lamer lps tuh blik umah..beborak smpi pg..tido 2 jam then bgun sahur lak..kt "manusalwa" mamak tuh...hehewaaaa.. tp sdp gak r..aku mkn NASIK lemak keras, roti TELOR n TEH sarbat...blik jer trus bertemu kasih ngn jamban..huhuhuuu..

kejap jer ngn nuar...tp mmg best sbb jarang dpt jumpa..tu yg org len x phm, kejap pon tiap2 yg jd tu bermakna..k..tnx nuar bwk aku jln2...nnt dtg lg..

ermmm...eppy? smile if u happy?

ermmm..aper pon yg jd dlm idop nih kn, we have to learn how to smile each time when u start ur day..klu sedey or hurt with someone u still need to find something that will make u smile..

think positive, make people look great...n dat wat they will do for u..life wasnt made to be broken, people will neva stop saying bad thing to u..as long as u know how to overcome all the obstacle u will find ur life more intresting then u ever know before..

all da sweet things will past u in a minutes, but dont ever stop from smiling..if u hurts, it will cure...the best medicine will be someone else smiling face looking at u even wordless...but u will know that they appreciated ur present...

smile...!! chayok...!!

uit....da rayer ker? pose biler?

hurmmmmmmmmmmmm...aku g mane2 sumer org cbuk nak cari brg2 rayer...poser nyer sari pon lom lagi..org2 kt malaysia nih mmg hebat2 tol r..sentiasa advance lebih dari castrol advance..wawawawa...ader ker patot aku nak g beli topup org tanyer nak g beli baju rayer ker?....hurmm..rayer hayah ko! wawawa..petang td aku dok siksa hamster aku..ni r contoh2 kekejaman nyer..eheeeeeeee...

hamster makmur bersalut bijian rangop..




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kadang2 macam agak terlampau gak aku nih erk?? huhuhu.. alar kejap jew...aku syg amster aku nih..walaupon nmpk mcm sedap aku mmg xpernah mkn amster aku erk..ehikz..tp klu korg teringin nak raser gtaw r aku ley watkn..space-sial tok korang..ahakz!

kueh raye aku taun nih..




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ni yg paling sedap r aku raser setakat nih..kui3x...ader perasa yg pelbagai yerk..sebarang tempahan boleh hubungi 999 sambungan 999 klu xdpt kol jer hotline kami 1-800-7272 En.hotak kau bin md.sengal...huhuhuarghhhh!!!

almond-ster, tart-ster, rose-ster & mcm2 lg...




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pose ngn bini org..wawawaaa...




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seharian waktu bersama mu...

ANDAI... hari ini milik kita, gunakan sebaiknya kerana esok belum tentu untuk kita.

ANDAI... hari ini kita rancangkan sekemas mungkin tapi jangan lupa pada takdir yang menentukan segalanya.

ANDAI... esok buat kita kecewa,redhalah dengan ketentuan. Sengaja DIA tentukan sedemikian agar kita terus berhati2 untuk lusa yang akan menjelma.

ANDAI... lusa masih takuk lama, tiada perubahan,malah kekecewaan terus berlarutan. Sedarlah... DIA memang suratkan begitu agar kita sedar siapa kita di sisiNYA.
Agar kita lebih bersedia dengan segala kemungkinan yang tiba...

miaw....maot...




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reborn....of me...

its have been a few week that this eyes were wounded with tears, n finally God answer my prayer and send me his angel.. wahahahaaa..ayat nak sedap..aku just nak ckp aku eppy skrg, not tide up onto some one, or tide someone to me..huhuhuuu...

days keep changging people around me, i do change but more to be real person not wat people want me to be..glad to know there were lots of people out there are looking for a frendz like me..

huhuhuuuu...bangga diri lak..i tot by being older i can get people respect, but i just realize dat respect is wat u will earn when u respect others.. sgt2 seronok skrg..each time count as a smile to me..thanks God for still making me smile day to day..

i rather be scolded by people i love then get closer to bad people dat use their smile to keep me comfort then kill in silent..huhuhuu...damn..! i love my family, my self, my frendz n all people around me...thanks guys...


mahal na mahal den kita...sanasy wala nang wakas..

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant
to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure
out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these
people may be but you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment
that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible,
painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without
overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential,
strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means
of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer
stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere
safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you
experience can create whom you are, and the bad experiences can be
learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones.


If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because
they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of
being cautious to whom you open your heart.


If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you,
but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to
little things. Make every day count. Appreciate everything that you possibly
can, for you may never experience it again.

Talk to people whom you have never talked to before, and actually listen.
Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high.
Hold you head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you
don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you.
Create you own life and then go out and live it.

Goodbye july…

Sangat berat tuk tinggalkan semua yg jadi dlm bulan july lepas, terlalu banyak detik beharga n kenangan manis samer ngn sumer org yg aku saying..but it was ended not the way It used to be..it was undiscribeable , terlalu banyak kesilapan yg jadi x kire dari aku mahupun org len..

I lost 3 most wonderful person around me, the person I knew for a long time since we were kids, the person dat has been a part of our small family and the person dat I never think dat he will move away from every dream I made before..it hurt me more then I could tell..

It felt like I’m loosing half of my life some where in past…if I ever could do something to get it back I will..there is no more tears to be cried, it was undiscribeable feeling towards it..they were someone special from the day we met, we know each others and promised dat wat ever happen we wont break apart.. but we did..

I just want every time we had together before to be wat we will do in present..maybe I was holding to tide onto wat I believe to be mine n suddenly I’m loosing my grip n lost it..only God knows how do I love u guys…I love u more then I love my self…it hurts when thinking about someone dat doesn’t even know u did, but I don’t care…if it hurt then it will cured..as long I can stand by ur side..

Please don’t walk away…if u were hurt by this word “aku nyesal kenal ngn ko” u should know one more thing “aku nyesal lepaskan ko”…I mean it..from bottom of my heart…soo please…please if u guys are reading this..please…don’t left me…I cant leave only by gasping half of my heart…please..i do love u guys a lot, I’m soo sorry..

love u to have it...

gift nih da lamer aku beli..n nak bg kt one of my best frnd..but he seems to be soo bz, our friendship are breaking up.. salah aku gaknyer...tp klu kawan..salah ker nak mintak maaf?

rindu sgt2 maser eppy dlu...arap ley ulang ari tu semula..in any relationship kiter akan bergaduh...n x rugi klu kiter mintak maaf..but if u want it to be ends here..its ok..just tnx 4 every smile u bring...miss yea...

do u love me?

Sometimes we say sorry because we felt deeply in love

Sometimes we say sorry because we care

Sometimes we say sorry because we hurt someone

Sometimes we say sorry because it's something normal to say

Sometimes we say sorry because it's the best thing and the best way

Sometimes we say sorry just to let the hurtfullness go away

Sometimes we say sorry eventhou we don't really meant it at all

Sometimes I say sorry because I always love you forever more

Yesterday Today Tomorrow Forever and Ever

I learn today that

"Love means never having to say you're sorry"

(Love story, 1970)

aku gay??

Mlm semalam aku bengang giler, masuk2 YM jer jumpa org giler…tetiber jer PM aku then tanyer, are you gay? Woi tolong r…korg ni da luper ker kt maner nih? Ni Malaysia r..jgn jadi bodoh sgt, taw r gay da ramai, tp jangan r nak perasan dunia nih korg nyer…aku segan giler tengok org sekarang, pantang ader rupa menarik sk8 da nak wat hal, aku x heran la kalu pakai baju mahal2, x dok umah asek merayap jer..g mkn tempat2 mahal..tapi kuar ngn Gay..aku sedar n sangat2 bersyukur aku x sehandsome org len, sbb aku xperlu meminta2 kt org tuk dapat aper yg aku nak..

Ader sorg mmber aku dlu pon pernah kecoh2 cakap org len Gay, tapi x sedar diri! Ko tu kawan sumer Gay! Punyer ramai mamat gay support ko! Aper ko ingt org len xtaw? (penuh ngn emosi) sbb aku marah sangat2 biler org suker wat plastic dpn aku…aku bangga dengan aper yg aku ader, biler pndang laptop aku ingt kt ayah ssh payah cari wet belikan, tgok handphone aku (N70 ori) ingt kat mak pujuk ayah belikan aku hp bru..huhuhuu…n xder nak ingt kt org len yg xperlu di ingt tuh..

Perlu ker aku cakap kt org2 yg raser dia bukan gay tuh mcm nih, “ko jangan makan budi org banyak sangat, nnt nak bls guner aper kn?” weh tolong r…kencing basuh sendri xkn ayat nih pon nak soh aku cakap kot..aku pelik giler, aper yg mamat2 Gay tuh dpt lyn korg…ker korg da bagi @#$#%^? Huh segan aku nak pikirkan..suker ati la korg nak wat aper….yg penting klu da dpt HIV cepat2 ck8 mati er…jgn ssh kn org len..untuk sumer mamat2 ensem kt luar saner tuh, maser korang gi toilet tengok tol2 aper yg korg “ader” jgn sampai cari bender yg samer gak..klu confuse ader aper gtaw, aku ley tlg tgok kan..hahaha..

“ ya Allah, sesungguhnya kami hamba2 mu yg seringkali alpa dalam melakukan dosa, ampunkanlah kami dan jadikan kami seseorang yg lebih baik dari sebelumnya..jauhkan kami dari nafsu yg dibelenggu syaitan”

some frnds said.....n u r not..

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never ever the same.

What is a best friend? Almost everyone has one, and almost everyone is one. There’s something about a best friend that cannot be duplicated. Everyone has their own definition of what their own best friend is like and what an impact he or she has made in their life. In this essay I would like to take a better look at some of the simple things that we might take for granted when we think of our best friends.

A best friend is a title held for the few and privileged. The term cannot be thrown around loosely. Not just anyone can be called your best friend. A best friend has to first meet several qualifications and have many outstanding characteristics to have the honor of holding such a prestigious title. Being a best friend is more than someone that you’ve seen everyday and grown up with. A best friend can be someone with whom you’ve known since childhood but can also be someone that youve just met, and similar to love at first sight, you just click with.

Doktor gula ke doktor gila?

Cinta dan kasih sayang ni macam gula, semuanya manis…biler habes jer beli lagi, abes beli lg.. biler ader banyak duet lg manis, macam2 gula kiter akan beli..tapi biler kurang duet, sumer nyer akan kurang manis, biler xder duet langsung semuanya tawar..macam tu gak la dgn cinta ngn kasih nih..biler sampai satu masa nanti kesan nya pon samer…biler terlebih gula, kiter dpt diabetes merana la sepanjang idop selagi kiter x sedar dan x usaha nak kawal penyakit tuh..itu gak la yg jadi biler kiter terlalu sayang pada seseorang, semuanyer manis jer…tapi sampai satu maser die akan tinggalkan kiter, kiter la yg akan merana sorang diri…ingt tuh kawan2, jgn sayang org len lebih dari kamo sayang diri kamo..

hari ni hari baru ker?

da sejam masuk ari baru, sekarang kul 1 pagi..aku xley nak tido lg..mate da tekebil2 xmao tido gak..sebab aku lom ley jawap satu soklan lg..ari ni ari baru ker?

kalu ari baru naper aku still ingt aper yg jadi semalam dan semalamnya? naper aku still xley timer aper yg jadi? salah aku ker sumer org nak marah aku? salah aku ker biler aku dapat sumer yg aku nak? salah ker aku syg dia?

minggu ni kepala hotak aku berat sangat, mcm2 nak pikir.. wet da nak kering, mmg ley topup tp da bnyk wet nnt aku x reti dok diam lak..hurmm..asignment tgh bnyk giler nih..nak wat mcm mls jer..naper yer?

yg pelik nya org len akn wat mcm xder aper jer biler masuk ari baru, mcm smlm tuh x wujud pon..naper? xder ker yg korg syg berlalu dalam hari smlm? aku alien ker? or korg lahir kt marikh? aku try abeskn setiap ari aku dengan senyuman.. supaya esok bermula dengan senyuman gak..tp still xley jd plastik, org still taw aku x eppy....huh salah aku gak lg..

aper pon aku still senyum, sebab aku taw dia taw aper aku raser..n ramai lg org len sygkn aku lebih dari dia syg kn aku.. hari ni dia pergi, n satu ari nnt die akan paham n klu maser tu dia dtg blik...aku arap Al-fatihah x terlalu ssh tuk dia bagi pada aku..maafkan aku atas aper pon yg aku lakukan, doakn aku bersama org2 yg beriman di sana nanti...

ahah!! sah bukan salah aku...hahaha..

“tahukah kamo sewaktu kamo tidur dengan lena, masih ada insan diluar sana Masih merindui, mencari dan cuba memahami kamu dengan lebih baik? Mungkin Kamo tidak sedar die sentiasa ada untuk kamo, cuba berikan yg terbaik untuk kamo, Tetapi kamo masih tidak sedar setiap kebaikan yg die lakukan..kamo hanya memandang Satu kesilapan yg dia pernah lakukan, sedangkan kesilapan terbesar dia lakukan ialah Bertemu dengan kamu. Tidak semua kehidupan itu sempurna, mungkin dia mahu Disayangi juga dihargai..sentiasa ingin bersama kamo kerana bimbang kehilangan Seorang lagi insan yg dia sayangi..fikirkan jika kamo tersedar ke esokan harinya dan dia Telah tiada, pada siapa kamo akan ungkapkan segala yg kamo baru sahaja fahami? Dia mungkin pernah melakukan kesilapan, tapi tahukah kamo apa yg lebih takut dia kehilangan? ‘kamo’ kamo lah yg lebih beharga padanya..’meminta maaf’ tidak akan menjadikan kamo hina, keji Atau rugi, sebaliknya membuatkan kamo sedar hidup ini tidak sempurna jika hanya ada kamo”

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Republik - Hanya Ingin Kau Tahu

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[ Hanya Ingin Kau Tahu lyric found on www.lirik.tv ]

Rasakan abadi
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Sekalipun kau pahami
Ku pikir ku salah mengertimu

owowowo Aku hanya ingin kau tahu
Besarnya cintaku
Tingginya khayalku bersamamu

Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini
Di setiap hariku
Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku

Aku hanya ingin kau tahu
Besarnya cintaku
Tingginya khayalku bersamamu

Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini
Di setiap hariku
Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku