Showing posts from December, 2011

aku izinkan ia pergi..

jam2 terakhir 2011..

Ya Allah..
kau ikatkanlah hati kami dgn kasih syg..
yg utuhnya kekal sehingga nafas tiada..
sehingga akhir masa..
dan dgn kasih itu hati ini sentiasa bersama mu..

Ya Allah..
perkenankan doaku...

Shamsiah ismail
Yaacob isam
Nursara Yaacob
Nurakmar Yaacob
Mohd Fathi Hussien

andai mereka bukan dihatiku Ya Rabbi..
tempatkan mereka di hatimu Allah..
agar aku tahu..
mereka lebih disayangi..
mereka tidak disia2kn..
dan tidak pula terluka..

Ya Allah..
limpahkanlah hatiku dgn kasih syg..
agar hilang suram hariku..
hilang sunyi hayatku..
walaupun kasih itu tidak berbalas..
aku yakin..
kasih ku hanya kerana mu Ya Rahim..


i wish..i wish..i wishh....

i wish..
u wish..
we wish..
they wish..
if all the wishes would come true..
i bet no more tears will drop on this earth..
but God have his own way in giving bless..

sometimes i wish i could lend a hand..
do my part..
gave help to those who need me..
wrap my self up n donate for charity..

but life is not in our hand..
as faith took it place..
everything will work in better way..
i wish they were..

i really hope i could help him..
take out a lil burden off him..
thats why im rushing myself through times..
cant wait to start working..
help my beloved family..

i wish i could give everything my parents want..
grant all my lil sis dreams..
shove all my sis tears n shone her a better light..
built a better life for my lovely lil brother..
create spaces called love in my own life..

i wish i could kept my promises..
i want my sis, lil sis n lil brother to built their own life before i did..
no matter how long it takes..
how long to wait..
i will..
coz i dont need cars if no one to sit beside me..
i dont need house if no o…


this were our krafkami new collection.. it was inspired by those who i really cared this day.. those who are as much important as my day is.. the stories goes...

mr.sunny a gift for someone.. she was  an important person to my lil brother.. she means alot to him.. like sun.. i knew sometime im a bit hursh on him.. i really wanna have that moment..alone.. but sometime things are better left unspoken.. i hope by giving mr.sunny to her will make her feel better.. coz that wat would make my lil brother a much better..

cumulus.. my lil brother were like those cloud.. gathered.. sharing his shade.. for people he love most.. always around them.. got highly motivated life.. i wish i were there.. but i just cant..

rainbow.. she was a great friend to me.. always someone who got positive emotion.. giving her speech.. like those teacher i once had.. huhu.. she always motivated me to swap off the tears.. n had a better life ahead..

cloudy.. this is me.. unwanted.. rains my own life.. dark..n emotionless.. n i wish i could be those c…


nyesal blik mcm tuh jer..
smpi rini..
hati still rasa berat..
smpi rini..
mata still bengkak..
nangis mcm org bodo..
tp aku tawu aku x bodo tuk syg dia..
dia baik..

aku cube bg dia ruang..
tp aku rasa aku yg xley terluang..
aku cuba phm..
aku belum cukup kuat tuk rasa sumer tuh..

segalanya akn baek?
mungkin ni yg terbaek untuk kami..
cuma ati sentiasa teringat..

1000 more years....?
wish we could have that kind of period..
so many things can be shared..
but if im given option..
to have another 1000 years..
i would not going to grant that wish..
it was better for me to died with the memory..
im sorry..
i couldnt wait..

i wish...

26 december 2011

tengah kemas2 barang..

dak cumil nih tanyer.. "pakcik nak g mana?" aku ckp nak balik umah.. "napa pakcik nak balik?"
aku senyap.. napa berat sgt....? trus pelok dia.. "pakcik ada kerja, syg.."
berat nak tinggalkn mereka sumer.. tapi lbh berat nak hadapi SAAT tuh.. cukuplah aku tawu yg aku sayang dia.. dia...? hanya dia yg tahu.. maafkn abg..

22 December 2011

22 December 2011 12.05 am..
Still dragging this eyes to sleep.. It wont even shut for a second.. Sometimes im annoyed with my own self.. The way I set things around me.. The way I stand along all the lies.. The broken promises.. It hurts…
I often said.. “its for ur own good” “im doing this not to get paid in any ways” But I lied.. I wish those people would hear me.. I wish people would understand me.. I need them.. I need them to know how much I want to be with them.. As often as I could.. Like sun during days.. Like moon at night.. I wish..
I would love to spell my thought out.. Freely.. But I done it before.. Where it goes straight to alley of nothingness.. It hurt me more.. N I choose not to do it again.. Faking this smile.. Shading this tears.. This would be the way..
I’ll let this heart <3 decide.. Im a slave to my own feeling.. I wont be running even got the chances.. Coz I knew.. Running away wont HUSH the feeling.. Things I kept inside.. Im stuck.. I love u.. But u neva love me that much.. Should i….?

17 December 2011

One whole day with double bless.. My bff n adik..
It startd with a plan on going for educational fairs.. Then it goes straight into lot of amusement.. Great fun n joy.. It might just be a window shopping.. As I dried out of cash..huhuaaa~ But It gave us some new memories.. Better then the rest we had before.. N I admitted this 3 days was more awesome then 3 years ago..

Every year on xmass eve.. Zahar n me will always be in center of midvelley.. Jumping around the great deco.. Nice songs.. Good spot for “cuci mata” Hahaa~ The same goes on this year.. But I was thrilled more.. As my lil brother had come together..

We had one great xmass eve few years ago.. It was our first.. Now it flips all the memories open.. For a better things to be remembered.. He smiled more.. Laugh more.. N much more “mesra”..

When times out.. We got on the train.. I already miss them both.. Time is slipping away.. Few month ahead will be another adjustment in our life.. Zaha will finish his bachelor n adik will done his diploma.. Erghh.. Wish t…

Khamis 15 disember 2011

Jadual pack.. Rehat sejam jer.. Kelas abes kul 8.15pm.. Penat.. Tp serunuk dpt kuar ngn adik.. Nak g mkn kt nilai.. Huhuhu.. Gedik dinner pon nak g nilai..
Sampai je nilai.. Terus cari tmpt mkn.. Adik nak abc special.. Abes lak.. Nak daging penyet pon abes gak.. Mkn r baryani daging.. Huhuaaa~ Ader ker baryani mkn ngn togeh?? Daging dia bnyk tp sumer keras giler! Tp xper la serunuk dpt mkn samer.. =)
Blik tuh beborak lg.. Cerita kisah yg xder dulu.. Hahaaa~ Everything started to change.. Exactly the way we suppose to be before.. Thanks God.. For every second He spared me with.. 2nd night he slept here.. Nothing much to talk.. After hours of chatting.. but only God knows how great it feel.. to woke up n there he waits.. =) Thanks again Allah..

new passion's!

few weeks after some handsomely cash loaded into my accaunt.. i started to turn shopaholics.. gurhh...i am.. n no doubt i even start to create new hobby.. new passions.. READING.. hahaa.. the 1st novel i bought was..

agak tebal.. 2-3 minggu gak baru abes..huhuaaa~ then next shopping spree.. i bought 2 more novels..

the sherlock holmes was greatly finished reading in one day.. as it was just few hundred pages.. the phoenix file have to wait.. because..

im totally lost into this novels.. hahaa.. tawu novel lama.. tp cerita nih kenangan tgok ngn bff n adik aku.. i got it in a great deal from MPH books carnival.. midvalley.. damn great.. i just hope by reading those books will help.. to improve my english.. =) hope so.. hahaaaa~

pax as in latin that mean peace...

"terasa KEHILANGAN semula"