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terima kasih..

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thanks Allah for giving me such a warm family for shelter.. thanks mak untuk bertaun penuh kasih sayang.. thanks ayah tuk bertaun kerja untuk saya study.. thanks kak long untuk cuba lengkapkan family nih.. thanks ma untuk terus kuat semangat untuk kami.. tak kira jauh ke dekat.. yang penting ingt.. kalu ingt dalam hati .. ada ke yg tahu? tu hanya alasan bagi org yg pentingkan diri sendiri.. thanks gak pada DIA .. jauh.. sangat jauh tapi sentiasa cuba untuk ada.. tak kesah kalu ada yg salah paham.. tentang DIA.. Dia pernah ada.. dan sampai bila2 pun ttp akan ada.. semua org berubah.. dan DIA ada hidup yg dia impikan.. so aku harap DIA akan bahagia.. for now .. im soo damn glad DIA ada.. "did u perform solah jumaat just now? u better did.. coz Allah will hear ur prayer.. and make it come true.." pesan DIA yg aku akn ingt... hidup perlukan pengorbanan.. tapi jangan korbankan sesuatu yg kita xkn dpt ganti.. DIA maybe bukan yg terbaik tuk aku.. t

kalau saya...

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this 2 weeks are totaly making me way off over the limit.. demam yg sgt terok...and now batok yg xley berenti.. sangat sakit.. selasa lps.. rasa sgt sunyi.. sejam aku dlm toilet.. when i just trying to step out.. something bad happen.. aku batuk semula.. this time with blood.. hidung aku pun bedarah.. why? i feel a lil dizzy.. then aku terus duduk dlm shower tok beberapa minit lg.. teringat kt org2 yg aku syg.. did i do fair to them.. what if something bad happen to me..? rasa kecewa gak.. biler someone yg aku pernah jg dulu.. lalu lalang dpn aku.. dan tau aku sakit.. neva text even once to know if im ok or not.. tp semua org hanya akn pikirkan diri sendri kn.. just aku.. dan aku je yg terlalu memikirkan dia org.. i just want everyone to know that.. life sometime can be soo mean to us.. but neva do the same to ppl around us.. if i neva got chance to wacth the sunrise tomorrow.. i want my family and those who once knew me.. to move on.. never drop a tear.. and special credit to AHMA

bye 2010..

new year coming? hurmm...it doesnt have to be all new.. but some how we have to change with it.. 22 years of living in a dream being happy.. but i lied to my own self from day to day.. but now.. i found the real thing to be focus on.. no more outsiders.. just me n my beloved casabonda.. i kept my self searching for the right one.. to fill in the empty spaces.. but what i did is only making the space wider.. i dont care what people tot im turning into.. this is me.. i love soo many people.. but love doesnt have to be real.. 2011.. 23 years of getting not to be abundant .. now im well prepared.. mak + ayah = sara, aki n ma.. im going to live with that real things now.. im sorry for putting each of u aside.. im back..

satu impian...

aku pernah berangan tuk bukak sebuah hotel satu masa nanti.. tapi.. lepas membayangkan yg perubahan dunia sekarang.. takut plak hotel aku jd sarang kejer kotor.. working in hotel line do teach me that.. 8 from 10 owning a hotel will be suck.. then tetibe aku terfikir.. aku nak bukak rumah kebajikan masyarakat.. its used to be a joke.. but now i think it was something pure.. great things to do.. sharing love with people who really need it.. n i love it soo much.. family aku pon sokong.. i just need to be stable in life first.. then.. start making my dream for real.. terbayang.. dpt bantu ramai org.. budak2 kecit senyum.. i want them to call me papa.. hahaaa...cumil.. harap satu masa nnt.. ia akan jadi sesuatu yg real.. tnx tok sumer yg menyokong.. n sumer sukarelawan yg da mndaftar diri.. tnx gak tuk sumer yg pernah wat aku sedey.. sbb mereka.. aku belajar hargai org lain.. berkasih pada yg perlu..=)

betul ker?

kadang2 aku dok sensorang then pikir... betol ker pe yg kawan2 aku nih ckp... "ko nih ley kawal otak org dari xnak ke nak senang2 jer...pastu dari suka ke x suka.. saper jer yg ko pernah knl akn jd superb.. style...pndi bergaul...n totaly brand new.." betol ker? aku xder lak teniat tok ubah sumer org yg aku knl jd aper yg aku nak..or ilangkn identiti org tuh..but...aku suker wat org len jd lg baek...look good, feel great..=) i just teach them all the things i knew.. klu nak ikot..ikot r kn..klu x..dont even bother.. tp it was fun n such an honored to look someone that really need advice on something change greatly.. aku x rasa rugi pon kuarkn wet tok org2 mcm nih..sbb mrk menghargai.. klu ada pe2 yg aku ajo tuh salah.. betolkan r..aku akn terima.. but for now...aku terima sumer nih sebagai pujian.. =) iskandar..

saya "abg cikgu" ??

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start dari kamis lps sampi r ujung minggu nih.. huhu class computer aku ngn daq2 kecit nih.. mesti windu nati biler sumer da g sekolah.. da sibuk ngn exam final..n aku...hurmm.. jap panggil cikgu.. jap panggil abg .. tapi mane2 pom aku still eppy.. ader yg tmn aku beborak smpi pagi.. betol kata org.. "semut seberang laot nmpk tp gajah dpn mata x nmpk" betaun aku cari org yg jaoh2 jer.. tp da ader dpn mata aku wat xtaw.. wat eva happen.. tnx Allah for everything u gave.. terubat windu aku pada adeq2 yg nun jaoh.. da lupa gak nyer.. tp ok la.. aku patot bersyukur..=) abg sayang kamu..

mungkin aku silap...

aku selalu gtaw kawan2 yg sedey biler org yg diaorg syg tinggalkan mereka.. "jangan sedey, atleast ko still ley nampak org tuh depan mata ko.. org len lg sedey biler org yg dia syg da xder lg...nak tengok pon xley" rupanyer aku silap.. lebih bek org yg kiter sangat sayang tuh terus ilang.. xder la kiter akn rase sangat2 sedey biler dapat tengok diaorg tapi setiap yg dilakukan tuh menyiksa kita.. aku pon pernah cakap yang... "heart for rent and life to keep" aku silap gak... hati tuh hak milik kekal, xkn ader yg boleh dipinjamkan idop tuh plak x kekal bila2 masa akn diminta tuk dikembalikan.. sekarang lebih bek aku diam supaya xder wat silap lg.. idop nih pasti akan berakhir.. maafkan silap aku..
aku sentiasa mengharap hari2 yg mendatang akn jd lbh baek.. but why i still have to face all this? napa susah sgt aku nak raser bahagia? susah sgt ker tuk org phm aper yg aku perlukan..? im not going to giving up.. but should i stop after all this happen? aku still xley jawap soalan mak.. "nape ko sayang org yg x sayang ko?" apa salah aku? ya Allah...ampun kan aku...

bye

daily planner: sunday 10 october 2010 -beraya ngn family adeq kt sungai buloh monday 11 october 2010 -still lpk ngn family -belajar masak minang tuesday 12 october 2010 -gerak blik kolej ready tok MUET -lpk ngn zaie last sblum new sem start wednesday 13 october 2010 -MUET 7.30 pg -have lunch with my best frnd zaie -ke putrajaya melawat kwn2 kijer -fizah n da geng n adeq syah tuesday 5 october 2010 -deleting each of my plan napa r sumer yg aku nak wat x difahami? klu r korg sumer ley baca blog nih.. sekali pon cukup.. mesti phm aper yg aku nak.. xtaw la aper dose aku pd korg sumer.. adik, abg da siap wat kn frame pic raya ritu walaupun x penting, arap dpt bg kt kamu satu ari nnt...

plz go...n neva turn back..

I’ve Closed My fb Account =’(

the last sunrise..

have u ever think that u might not giving the chances to look at the sunrise again? i do and i always did...every time im going to bed, i'll pray for Dear Allah spend me another day for me to walk in.. mungkin pada org len, this is such a normal things to do..but to me its not.. i'm going to pray for every single chance to live a life once again.. if i awake that morning n still looking at the sunrise.. i'll do everything i wanna do..most of it not for me.. but for people who i cared most.. i'm not writing all this for sympathy.. but for people who read this to realize how lucky u are.. some time i wake up with bloody noose.. i'll ran to toilet n clean it up before someone see it.. kadang2 perot sangat2 sakit..like im going to die soon.. but i do my work as usual.. do i have to tell others bout what i need? no.. coz the only cure for all of this.. is "one nice smile" from people i said.. "jaga diri bek2, kamo mesti ley wat semua nih n jd org yg lbh

kerana syurga itu bercahaya..

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Does heaven glow ? Yes just like what I can see here.. Thanks Allah for the great weekend.. Hampir setengah tahun aku tunggu.. tuk rasa semua ni semula.. aku tak pernah mengharap .. untuk ada kekayaan menggunung.. akal yg terlalu cerdik .. rupa paras yg terlalu sempurna .. cukup untuk dilempahi kasih sayang.. bahagia bila.. dapat ajarkan sesuatu yg buat kamu gembira .. lihat kamu seronok makan sampi berpeluh.. lihat kamu tergelak sampi muka merah.. lihat kamu xley tido kene kacau.. bahagia juga bila.. lihat kamu sakit perot makan banyak sgt.. lihat kamu gelak sampai air liur meleleh.. lihat kamu bangun tido.. mungkin hanya seketika.. tapi syukur kerana merasa apa yg diberikan.. satu kenangan yg terindah.. terima kasih Allah untuk kurnia mu..