singletears

tonight i learn another facts.. why some ppl like me more.. and why some of them hated me badly.. this is me.. im not the one who stay..left..or wounded ur memory with lies.. plz do not judge me with ur past.. im real..and none of me reflect them.. dia pernah ckp... "np potong rambut mcm tuh?" "saya suke tgok awak nyer style" then this night i finally know why... --I look just like HIM-- didnt i? its kindda sad.. knowing that someone like or love u.. just becoz u look like what they had earn years ago.. u believe u step here.. but ur mark had been there.. --im just like a shadow-- nobody will care.. it was damn hard to let go.. yet too dump to stay while knowing that im not the one.. yg dia rindu...syg...or wat eva.. why do i wish to stay.. why do i have to face this.. do i have to move on without...? i missed u damn much.. i wish this is just a dream...

bulan nih.. sgt bnyk membebankn otak.. sgt bnyk memikirkn.. yg lalu.. sekarang.. yg depan.. bulan nih gak aku plg bnyk menangis.. sgt mcm dak kecik.. xtawu np.. but each time i remember those IDIOTS.. tears falls.. that make me another IDIOT.. terlalu bnyk yg aku dah ilang.. 24 tahun.. cukup bnyk masa yg dihabiskn untuk menyayangi.. berkongsi perasaan.. yg akhirnya.. tetap sendirian.. hidup sekadar mimpi.. indah seketika.. ngeri pon sementara.. tapi kesan nya kekal...sampai bila2.. rindu untuk gembira.. senyum.. tertawa.. tapi.. menangis lbh mudah.. aku syg dia.. aku cinta dia.. aku rindu dia.. aku perlukan dia.. dan setiap DIA adalah org berbeza.. bukan tamak.. tapi hati akan kekal begitu.. tnx sbb pernah ada dlm hidup sy.. dan benarkan saya untuk terus disini..

lately sgt kerap teringat kt dia... mungkin dia rasa aku nih kwn yg x guna.. or aku da lp kn dia.. aku tanya kwn2 len.. dia sht...? baby dia ok ker? i did remember all those great moment we once had.. tp aku tawu there is no way HE gonna let me see both of them.. hari tu... lame gak bediri kt dpn lovely lace mid.. tgok kasut baby gurl.. cumil.. aku tawu klu beli pon aku xdpt nak bg.. n confirm baby tuh akn dpt yg lbh bek.. mungkin pd org len baby tuh x same.. but to me that lil angel will always be angel.. n aku sgt berharap.. dia xkn sia2 kn satu lagi kehidupan.. aku nak baby tu tawu dia ada uncle.. mungkin x sebaik org len.. but at least aku cube tuk jd baik.. mungkin satu masa nnt tuhan akn temukan aku ngn mereka.. x kira bila.. aku ttp akn tggu.. dia mesti akan cantik mcm mama dia.. slmt mlm...

sometime faith is a bit cruel to me.. it send me a smile that ends with tears.. then came a heart yet it goes broken.. is it me.. or its really faith who is playing around....? last weekend was a disaster.. i saw someone i used to know b4.. dia da ada family.. that person doesnt ever turn to look.. but i can see that they were happy togather.. that is what most important.. then.. i met someone.. thinking that it have been years when we last met.. i was thrilling with excitement but then.. it doesnt work well.. she told me she's getting engage soon.. hell shocked with that.. but i do wish she could find someone better.. n she did.. thanks God for making my pray came true.. i never ask anyone to wait.. n no one did.. that is why i think.. the best thing to do is.. "walk away" aku sentiasa harap org akn lbh bahagia dari aku.. x kire saper pon org tuh.. dgn saper dia teruskan idop.. or what ever situation th...

mlm ni.. tibe2 hati sebak biler pndang pic tu.. teringt yg satu masa dulu.. aku pernah syg die mcm family.. kami kongsi mcm2.. but things change.. die sbuk ngn awek.. n kawan2 bek die.. sape la aku nih klu nak dibandingkan dgn yg len.. kalu die anggap aku family.. mesti hati die teringat nak msg.. call biler free.. mungkin dtg menjenguk.. tp.. aku harap die sentiasa eppy.. aku doakn die x wat silap mcm aku.. syg org yg x perlu ada.. aku still ada adik2 aku yg len.. yg akn ada selama mungkin.. terima kasih tuhan kerana pinjamkan die.. " muhammad fathi hussien shaharudin"

saya mohon.. jangan tanya saya tentang kahwin dan cinta.. life is not as easy as u tend to draw.. it was deeper then the sea.. i used to care too much for people i love.. in the end i lost those people that really love me.. and if u read this.. i really want u to know that.. saya x perlukan cinta.. dan saya x perlukan awak.. i have my own way to enjoy this life.. stop bugging me with ur stupid lies.. i told my parent that i wont get married.. i will adopt a child n care him like my own kids.. work damn hard to grab all my dream.. make it came true.. n stay with my beloved casabonda.. life is short.. thats what i mean.. short is no u, and only me...

maaf.. saya sangat penat.. da sampai masa untuk sÀAÀaya berehat..AAA saya da xda masa untuk cari kamu lg.. cari dia.. awak dan sesiapa pon.. masa saya da terhad.. blog nih akan sepi seketika.. dan jika saya terus menghilang.. ertinya saya terus berehat.. saya mohon maaf pada semua.. saya cuma rasa lebih baik saya sembunyikan semuanya.. terima kasih..